Classes have begun. Stimuli overwhelming.
Chance to watch situation specific stuff.
How does goal to convey information,
demand the best -
balance with wanting to be liked?
There's a refrain - I must do better.
Sorting junk is not limited to one's office.

Week of many and intense interactions. Nice to shed my artistic (?) singularity.

Meetings, more meetings, melodrama, more melodrama. New chair (and others) shook things up. Grad program undergoing changes. A relief - as departmental polarities drop and (I believe will) fade. Whew!

Cici here last night, first NC friend and dearest! As we talked, laughed, listened in the dark, realized - peepers in the pond mark early spring and katydids and crickets (going strong at this moment!) signal high/late summer, fall. Cici said the katydids go silent about 2AM -so we can even tell time by their rattles.

And today - the peformance!
Lots of nervous energy.
Russell suggested a sit -
Air conditioner rustling blinds.

It's a gray, dark day. Raining, raining, raining, peaceful.

Watched Werner Herzog's "Grizzly Man" last night. At movie's end
Herzog wondered why we watched the bears - and answered himself:
because we get some insight into our OWN behaviors, selves.

He has omitted someting important - why we watch the entire movie
and Timothy Treadwell (Grizzly Man). Treadwell more than the bears
gave me insight into my own behavior/self. His (and my/our) SHELL
(ego, conditioning) and suffering came across in Treadwell's videos
clearly and in disturbing ways.

Alive? - yes. An experience Oland used for awarness practice? - no.

Overcome by fear - quaking in boots! Made jokes to cover fear

while proclaiming it; fogot to watch....Now I know how the cats

feel when they go to the vet.


Taking it easy, very easy.

Am so pleased. Have been courting hummingbirds and now have at least three coming to feeder. They're fighting! Ferocious little guys. Will put another feeder up - out of sight of first one and maybe that will allow them to let one another eat in peace!

Tomorrow is procedure. Always wonder when I do these type of things if that will be The End. Guess I'll find out - and if I don't - then it WAS the end. Ha, ha. What do Ken Wilber and Sri Ramana say? If it's not present in the deepest of sleep - it doesn't exist. Here's to youmu!

Went to Joyce discussion group last week. Between "us" am not sold on Joyce. Here's my caveat - anyone can pun - and do stream of consciousness writing. What is the point of being SO obscure? AND what is the equivalent in the visual arts? Matthew Barney's Cremaster Cycle?

Still I like the idea of being a factferreter (Joyce's word) or fatfairette, facetfarer, fastfretter who is readjoycing always.....