Last night -caught glimpse of season's first firefly;

today (almost) the whole house sparkles.

While hired hands cleaned, I pruned

the forsythia.

Next spring we shall have a profusion

of yellow flowers, like daytime fireflies.

And the house will be made to sparkle again.

The mountains have turned a rich green - even the hold-out trees at higher altitudes. Sweet pink primroses and pungent ramps wait to be planted.

What a strange time lately - intense ups and rotten downs. Adjusting to Chuck being around and at last - relaxing into what?

Told by alternative health practitioner that I am suffering(?) from adrenal stress. Muddled-mind, low energy, apathy, and little sleep ensued. Add resistance and ya get misery! (On the other hand, with homeopathic remedy - no heart misbeats.) Concern about sleep has crept in and become a small obsession.

Am desconstructing (read: destroying) an artwork - "News Vortex." What fun - a useless activity in reverse! Piece was damaged by cats and other critters, very unwieldy, and taking up basement space. Yesterday it took so many beautiful forms as newspaper parts and internal structure pulled apart that I may reconfigure it - good for nothingness reincarnated.

Dream: I am in a lovely white wedding dress in a state of perfect calm - preparing to marry my ex-husband, David. (Though dream time was current - no sense that we were re-marrying.) Strong feelings of peace and naturalness.

David-dreaming fits the extremes of recent days. Magical, loving times we had - to planes of bliss (words inadequate...) And later we flew in quite the opposite direction. For many years my dreams of him were of unrequited longing or rejection. - Aside - we married in a Tibetan ceremony at Swayambunath (Nepal) by the Rinpoche. David took the Precepts to do so.

to BASEMENT
Now back to my un-art art project.

from Chinese encyclopedia dividing animals into the following categories:


(a) those that belong to the Emperor,
(b) embalmed ones,
(c) those that are trained,
(d) suckling pigs,
(e) mermaids,
(f) fabulous ones,
(g) stray dogs,
(h) those that are included in this classification,
(i) those that tremble as if they were mad,
(j) innumerable ones,
(k) those drawn with a very fine camel's hair brush,
(l) others,
(m) those that have just broken a flower vase, and
(n) those that resemble flies from a distance.


List included in essay by Jorge Luis Borges passed on to me by Sara.
What a delightful and heavenly (truly celestial) list! Great joy every time it's read. Hmmm, do believe Mela belongs in several of those categories.



Getting ready to include some words about Wednesday: accompanied a friend to the hospital (a privilege) and had reading with WM.

It is taking time to process/digest day's events - all intertwined. Don't know how it will be expressed - and no good reason to do so. Want to release words to the ether it seems (Ha! yet another good-for-nothing activity.)

Reminds me - after listening to my explanation of why I liked to run, a friend once accused me of polluting the universe with my vibes! Perhaps I'm still doing so-etherially speaking.

Anyway, part of what is happening is I'm seeing past events in a new light. It now seems I've been on this path - as everyone probably is - my whole life. Things experienced years ago are making sense in a new way. (Above story not included in this category, tee hee.)

It's a CELESTIAL EMPORIUM! Let's go shopping.

Metta

--bumper sticker on car in Asheville


Dazed since yesterday afternoon - when end of semester sank into brain. There is so much to do inside and outside house and so many other things - feel paralyzed, instead of jumping in and doing it...

The Wedge show came together really nicely. New experience. Show wasn't completely installed or lighted when I left Thursday night. This situation might have induced me to stay all night and finish it alone and/or be upset with students (all of whom were overwhelmed with finals.) Told myself it would all get done - and if it didn't - well, ok. Sent email to students explaining what needed to be done and somehow by 4PM Friday, it was all done! Hooray.

What a great graduating class. The art was impressive! (Apparently the Day of Non-Judgment has not arrrived yet). Going to miss two of my all-time favorite students and others.